Karen, Why Are You So Angry?

By now, many of us have seen at least one video of that white woman, now known

as Karen, screaming, crying, coughing on, accusing Black men of being threatening, or anything akin to these actions in the news or on social media. I have watched many of these videos, and now, on Instagram under #karensgoingwllds,” there is a compilation of them. And, people are adding videos daily. Every time, I watch one of these videos, I ask myself, “Why is Karen so angry?”

Everything in society protects, coddles, and provides for Karen’s comfort. Throughout history, Karen was the most venerated woman in society. Many of societal arrangements implemented were to elevate the value of Karen. But, everywhere we look, Karen is losing her lofty place. Everything she has represented is plummeting. The world is watching her pedestal crumble and collapse in front of us, leaving debris everywhere. And, some of us are asking, “Why?”

Karen has always had the world handed to her. Every comfort. Every advantage.

Every admiration. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. And, she is livid. Outraged.

Then, it hit me.

Karen is having a hard time because no one has ever told her she is not the center of everyone else’s existence. From the time Karen is born, she is a priority. Sometimes having her own caregiver to attend to her every need, want, and desire. When she goes to school, her teachers prioritize her thoughts and learning; her partners want to offer her the security of her father, if she had one. Everything in the world, every form of medium, celebrity, storybook, tells Karen she is exemplary. She is the standard and idealized. Everyone wants to be her, have what she has. Karen even believes she lives in every one’s mind, rent free, with the certainty that everybody is constantly thinking about and measuring her every move, her every purchase, her every relation. The tv reality of Karen. Consumed with Karen-ness.

Then, Karen encounters the world, the real world. The world outside of her systematized bubble. Crashing into other people, primarily Black people and other women and men of color, who were told by their parents, teachers, and communities that they were special and important too. People who have been told they can be anything in the world, with hard work. People not defined by Karen or the dominant culture’s standards or stereotypes. That their feelings, thoughts, and existence matters. And, for the life of her, Karen can’t believe that someone thinks of themselves more than they think about her. It is really hard for Karen to make sense of why everyone is not accommodating her.

She can’t handle persons not prioritizing her and inconveniencing themselves for her comfort. She doesn’t want to wait in line, she doesn’t want to leash her dog, she doesn’t want to social distant. Karen wants what she wants and if she can’t have it, she gets angry. It is too much for her to handle, it hurts her feelings. And, everyone other than Karen knows what happens when Karen’s feelings get hurt, she cries. I mean, Karen’s tears can change election results.

The more I watched these videos, the more I questioned what’s behind and the cause of Karen’s anger. Most Karens, as described on social media, are middle-aged white women “making a big fuss” over petty stuff, usually something that is none of their business, or they are “asking for the manager” because they feel they have been wronged or the “essential” worker standing in front of them couldn’t possibly know what they are talking about.

And, herein lies why Karen is angry.

Karen is the archetype of the mean girl, even though she doesn’t believe she is. She takes on the responsibility of keeping or putting people, outside of her group, “in their place.”

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With everyone sheltering-in-place, being able to go to the grocery store or wherever they want to in the middle of the day, there are just too many people for Karen. They are everywhere. And, Karen is forced to come in contact with all these people she didn’t know existed. People who have some of the benefits that have been granted to her. Flexibility, leisure, and mobility. And, they are causing Karen angst.

Karen’s world has been padded with a lot of protections – suburban living, access to resources, country club memberships, beach houses, and great health care and schools, and grocery stores with fresh produce. All the things that can separate Karen from all the people she doesn’t want to be bothered with. She knows there are homeless and hungry people, people being murdered by the police and community vigilantes, protesting “Black Lives Matter,” they just don’t have too much to do with Karen’s world, her protected world.

Now, all these “space invaders” are colliding with Karen’s world, and we are watching her have a temper tantrum, in public.Screaming at people to “go back to where you came from” or telling them, “you don’t belong here.” And, if she can’t make these people leave “her” space, she knows with her “white woman tears,” she can call the police and have them do what she can’t. Removed.

All of these encounters are definitely about Karen’s anger. But, they are also about how Karen believes she owns space – the grocery store, the sidewalk, the gas station, the playground, the streets, the forest, the post office, and other every space she enters. It is hard for Karen to share space with anyone she believes shouldn’t even be in her space. And, she is angry.

But, Karen is not just angry, in the videos, Karen is raging. Squawking at people for exercising, yelling at people for parking on “her” street, confronting people for taking too long while pumping gas or in the drive thru, and coughing on people for asking her to wear a mask. Karen has destroyed private property in her fuming. Assaulted and thrown things at people. Karen has completely lost it.

And, the world is watching what a self-absorbed, narcissistic white woman looks like who believes the world revolves around her fall apart. And, it is not pretty.

Karen’s rage comes from a towering place. For years, Karen tried to get down from that pedestal assembled for her – domesticity, purity, piety, and submissiveness. But, she found out it was more difficult than she imagined. Climbing down from a manufactured configuration knitted together in white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, and exploitation in exchange for her silence and the belief that everything was about her and for her is overwhelming. After accepting all its benefits for years and years, Karen is incensed. Furious.

Karen has been trying to find her rightful place in society, in her family, in her career, and in public. Attempting to insert her voice in spaces where she has been silenced. And, because Karen can’t direct her rage at the people who deserve it, she is spewing it at all of us, in public, all the time.